I’ve traveled a long and winding road and all the while I thought the journey was a linear path. I thought I had all the coordinates arranged to precision, I planned and plotted all my potential points where I’d meet happiness. I trusted and applied faith in the countless voices that crowded every square unit of me. I, like you, looked for comfort in the frames of a world that is in divide; a divide that dictates man’s moral. A dichotomy that gripped me to my fears and left me loveless, dependent on redemption that does not exist. Blindsided by the loudest voices in rooms of crowded thoughts, where clarity was in absence, I was taught to believe that our salvation lies outside of us, that upon bent knee and pressed palms we will rise again as our flesh falls in the cosmos between the gates of the holy and fire pit of the cursed.
I remember this fictitious world; it imprisoned my mind to believe more in my fears than in my purpose. It kept me bound to labels of imperfections that stole away my ability to be unique. I remember wanting to camouflage behind the blinds and fading into a hopeless abyss where time was warped and I couldn’t see the light to my beginning nor end… for so very long I struggled, like you, to find my inner peace in each compartmentalized experience, happenstance, and in individuals that were within arms length and in stretched distances. I equated my happiness with blessings and my failures with punishment; I was missing one of life’s most important lessons, that to live in a thriving soul I had to set free my mind and heart from the clutches of man’s fears.
I’ve traveled a long and winding road and discovered the birth of me also lives in the interwoven divinity of our connections and the lack thereof simply slows our progress in becoming one entity. One of life’s greatest tricks has been to distort the mind of man to believe that our world is divided between good and evil. This divide corrupts us and keeps us at polar ends, disconnected and distraught upon a wavering balance. The answers to who we are lies within but with so many years of negligence with our self-reflection, enlightenment can be quite dim. Thus, the reconnection to oneself may require one to travel through others. Open and earnest relationship engagements are necessary to help begin to extrapolate the elements that bind the junctions that make us whole.
I remember learning that my successes were not solely dependent on my passion and will to commit to my goals…. I learned that forgiveness was a necessary foundation to the fruition of my well-being. We carry wounds of all types, some self-inflicted and others caused by outsiders, for years. We bury them in deep rifts of pity and keep them as crutches to justify our lack of commitment to happiness. I remember hearing my own silence, the one that reconnected me to my core, the entity to our existence. In this very unit, I had to tear down every shield I’ve ever crafted and carry the womb of our existence in plain sight, where good and bad are nonexistent … what a vision of pure simplicity that held no amber of distrust in me. I was able to see that there are no mistakes nor misfortunes, for they were only collected to strengthen my skeletal framework and each tear had cleared a path past my aortic valve for compassion to thrive. In the light of my womb, I could no longer live my life as a victim of circumstances but as a seed of progress. Forgiveness birthed self-acceptance and self-love; do not allow yourself to wear the chains of defeat. Alter your life by changing your perspective to one that allows you to lead in your own freedom.
Carla S Veiga